Hello there,
Here are some random and distubing musings I have had...I did say ‘disturbing’ didn't I?

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1/6/00 7:52 AM
I was on the elevator at work Wednesday and I gave on of my former floor neighbors a big, cheery hello. He replied, "I'm OK, but you sound like to got LAYED!" I've heard this comment before for the same reason, and not just from a businessman on his way out to lunch. So I said to him with a big smile, "I've heard that before. But I'm just happy. You have to be happy in life."

Thursday I left work for home at 11:35 PM. I took the long way to the train station by walking six city blocks to Grand Central Terminal. As I crossed Vanderbilt, an older Muslim woman was simultaneously crossing 42nd Street, perpendicular to me. She had on the traditional head covering consisting of a large scarf flowing down her torso.

1/8/00 3:25 PM
At the same time a bulldozer came to stop on a red light, on 42nd Street and Vanderbilt. As the two of them headed towards each other a devious thought came to mind. What if the bulldozer just rammed into her and chopped off her legs? And then, lifted the bucket high into the air and bashed her over and over into the pavement? As harsh as it seems, I laughed inside that I would think such I mean thing. I remembered the Itch & Scratchy episode on the Simpsons where Itchy ties Scratchy to a log at a lumber plant. As the log heads ever so slowly towards the saw blade, Itchy gets so impatient that he pulls out an ax - cartoon style - out of thin air - and chops Scratchy to bits as he remains tied to the log. Now that stuff is funny!

1/8/00 3:55 PM
On Friday I left work around 8:30PM itching to play my Sting CD. It's occurred to me that I won't need a girlfriend, much in part because of how Sting sings of love. He sings the funniest and whimsical stories of any active artist that I know.

As I opened the door to the apartment, their came the boisterous sounds of adults with kids in their company. It seemed the family on my mother's side had decided to visit. Luckily, it was my mother's nicest nephew visiting from the Dominican Republic. Besides him, there were a few friends of his that my mom knew. I genuinely like Robert because he shoots straight and tells very funny stories. Eventually, the topic got around to my mother's houseplants, so I felt it appropriate to show off my three-stemmed red orchid.

1/8/00 4:04 PM
So my mom's nephew calls his friend Irving over to it and says to him, "You see this plant? It's always symmetric but there are many, many color variations." I agreed and told them of the white ones, and the neat spotted ones, etc. But there’s a special reason why I like orchids. So Irving says, "Hey, it looks just like a bat's face!" He just didn't get it...

1/8/00 3:37 PM
I was out shopping for computer repair tools today and thought it would be nice to patronize the stores in the Bronx as opposed to cash-rich Manhattan. After I got the needed tools at Sears, I stopped by Radio Shack for other accessories. As I walked towards the counter, I saw the same beautiful sales rep I've seen many times over the past years. It's always a surprise to see her, because I'm always thinking she's going to move on to bigger and better things. We chatted more than we usually do and then I left, I told her until next time...

Outside, I was regretting that I owed the public library $16 for over-due books. I've had this nagging feeling to read Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men" for months now. It's the kind of book that one needs to read many times in life. And now I'm at that point where my feelings…

1/8/00 3:46 PM
…and perspectives are in tune with the book's story. So fresh out of Radio Shack I pass this tiny bookstore tucked away between bigger clothing shops. I walk in and it feels just good to see the husband and wife proprietors;- it's a small family business. They don't seem to read my glances of someone who has a question to ask so I walk further in towards their older son helping a customer choose a coin book. It's my turn and I ask him, "...Of Mice and Men...." To which he replies, "The book?" And reaches around right next to us to pluck it from the shelf. Then he says, "I have the Cliff Notes for that." After I walked outside it occurred to me, he didn't get it either...

Marcos

03.09.2000

The Metrpolitan Transportation Authority (of New York) and Barnes & Bobles books have donated ad space and funds to promote poetry on our buses and trains. Typically, an excerpt or a full poem will be posted in cars for the riders to enjoy. There is one poem about a man and a woman on a train bound for upstate NY I think. They are strangers to each other, but the man decides to approach the woman with conversation. As she is reading, he says to her, "The trees look fine, don't they?" To which she comments, "Really, show me a tree that looks nice." He points one out to her and she says to him, "It's gone by already, the next time you see another, let me know," and then goes back to reading her book.

So last night I was on the train headed home, when I noticed a young woman sitting about six feet away. I noticed first the freckles that made her so beautiful, then the tiny earrings like pearls, and the necklace of the same half-pearls, twelve in number. Her lipstick was soft and simple, almost the color of her skin. Her hair was black and natural with slight spikes of hair stems. I don't know if she noticed me looking at her when I was standing. But I couldn't help but to take in her simple, but unique beautity before she or I got off.

I finally got a seat, almost across from her. I couldn't hep looking at her still, but her eyes avoided me. They drooped slightly and she looked very tired. But there was a tiny smile at one point, and I hoped that it was because she knew I was looking at her. I thought to myself that it was perhaps worth a shot to write her a note. The last time that I did this was in high school, so she was definitely something special to prompt a note. So I looked in my bag as I started to composed the note in my mind. I found a spare page from a repair work order, which I hoped had my name and company phone number on it. (It didn't, but the idea was to let her know what my impression of her was.) There were ramdom jottings already on the back of the paper, but I started anyway. I got these sentences down:

Senorita:
Perdoneme mi interupcion. Esta simple nota es para comendar su estilo de ser. La ultima vez que
hice esto con una mujer estrana f...

[Miss:
Pardon my interruption. This simple note is to commend your style. The last time that I did this
with a strange woman was...]

And there her stop came and my note was not finished. I watched her get off the train and I followed her in the crowd as long as I could. The train would start up again any second and I could find her again before the she reached the stairs. But the train didn't move, and instead went into stand-by as the conductor sorted out his or her instructions. By time we were moving, she was gone.

Maybe it was just something that I did to try, to perhaps have a thought to daydream about and smile over. What would I do if I saw her again? Should I keep the note with me and finish it when and if I see her again? What would she say or do if I reach out the note, and did say to her, 'Miss, you dropped this."?

I hope that I dream of it in my sleep; this would be just great. To wake up and remember that I dreamt of an encounter with her. In our dreams are minds are free.